he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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