I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
