Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
