this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
