I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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