jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
