Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
