Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
