We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
