I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
