I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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