And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
