I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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