he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
