He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
