Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How does one acquire holy water?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
