You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
