I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
