Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
