3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
