Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
