like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
