The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
