i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
