He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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