Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
