Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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