Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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