got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
