SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
