Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
