I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he thought i was a dude.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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