I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
