she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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