This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
