Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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