We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
