I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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