She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
