I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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