He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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