ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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