I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
