playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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