you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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