i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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