Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
