If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
