Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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