found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
